Trick or Re-Treat

I retreated last weekend to re-energize, rejuvenate, and remember where I'm going. I met an old friend in San Antonio, notebook in hand, and re-created all of those parts of my life and career that were ready for a makeover. My word of the year has been "replenish," so it was a perfect time to cap that off and begin to move into the new year.

The word retreat is multi-faceted. To retreat in the military sense is to fall back. In the every day sense, it often feels like running away. Then there is this break down: "re-treat," as in treat again. Treat itself can be an indulgence, as in sweet treats (or treating yourself) or medicinal as in to "treat" an illness. All of these meanings applied to my weekend.

I ran away from the everyday buzz of my life to get some perspective. I fell back to a more defensible position to get leverage for the next move. I treated myself to time with a good friend, good food, a few margaritas, and entertainment in a idyllic setting. And finally, I got the "treatment" I needed to cure any dis-ease I might have had.

The key to this retreat was the perspective and idea bouncing characteristics of my friend, who is also at a transitional phase in her life. Next time, we won't wait so long.

Imaginary Friends

Add another individual to the list that includes the Easter Bunny and the Great Pumpkin. "Perfect Communicators" exist only in our imaginations. Sure, you can see a great public speaker or be inspired by a conversation with your friend, but at times, everyone yells, offends or muddles a discussion.

I know executives who can inspire their teams to great heights except when they don't. I know other executives who can convey in writing incredibly complex issues but their e-mails sometimes leave me scratching my head. I know an amazing public speaker who is difficult to engage in a one-on-one conversation. I know talented coaches who sometimes have dud meetings.

Communication is everywhere, in hundreds of forms and happening every minute. No one can get all of that or even half of that right.

There, it's out there. Nobody's perfect. Now forgive yourself and your colleagues, family, and friends for communication miscues and get back to doing the best you can.

"I got new underwear!"

He yelled gleefully, "I got new underwear!"

The little boy and his sister were being guided into their daycare center and each grasped a plastic shopping bag. I passed them after leaving my own child and his smile was radiant as he shared his good news.

Why aren't we all so joyful about the small things that grace our lives? Truthfully, I feel pretty happy when I get new underwear myself, but I never think to tell anyone, least of all a complete stranger, "I got new underwear!"

How would I feel if I shouted about each of the gifts I have been given with pure wonder and gratitude?

I got two kids!
I got a husband!
I got health!
I got a job!
I got a full tummy!

How would the world feel if that little boy and I were just part of a crowd? What if everywhere you heard, "I got new underwear!"

Lead Like Columbus

So Columbus may not be the most-cited example of inspirational leadership, but, hey, it's his time of year and we will take the reminders of great leadership where we can get them. If you recall from elementary school, when Columbus sailed the ocean blue in 1492, he was not searching for the New World. He was actually looking for a better path to his goal, the Far East.

I think that too many of us want to make a better world or a new world instead of looking at what is great right now. We start imagining that amazing world and get caught up in the gap between where we are and where we want to be. Visioning and dreaming are fantastic tools for forward motion, but they aren't the only ones. What if you started with where you are? Look around. What's good about where you are? What's good about your current job? What do you currently do very well? Now, those things that are good, how can you do or have more of them? Can you do those same things in a different way or in a different context to get what you seek?

For instance, a client was positively enthralled by nonprofit work. Luckily, her company supported her efforts and she spent as much time as she could volunteering. When she got back to her own job, she was effective, but her spark wasn't there. She was not ready to hang up her current career and jump into the nonprofit world full-time, so we focused on all of the things that she loved about nonprofits (education, helping others better themselves, etc.) and looked for opportunities to bring them into her work. She took on mentoring both direct reports and others and put together brown bag lunches to help co-workers learn life skills she had made herself an expert in.

Columbus believed he could make it to his port, even through new and unknown seas. In his confidence, he stumbled onto something that changed the course of history. Sure, you might be working with a smaller scale, but who knows what surprises are awaiting the explorer in you. Happy sailing.

Humble Leadership

I witnessed a visioning session in an organization this week that was a remarkable demonstration of humble leadership. The founder, with a handful of staff, had built it from garage beginnings into a local powerhouse in its industry. The founder himself is a charismatic dynamo, whose hand touches everything but actually runs very little.

As he assembled the group of stakeholders, he reported that the goals of the last visioning document had been mostly completed and it was time to set new direction. He interviewed representatives of different programs on stage to review the success and results of those goals. Then he opened the floor to questions and answered all as well as he could.

I have participated and observed a number of these strategy and information-gathering sessions, and in many of them, the leader or leaders have their own agenda. They push the conversation one way or another, or expand upon one topic and brush over others. When I leave those sessions I always feel a little manipulated, as if we have all been pawns to add credence to someone else's big plans.

This man, clearly the driver of the organization's success, avoided all of those traps. Every question or comment was given equal consideration. When asked what he wanted, he simply said, "That's why we're here." He refrained from leading the group in any particular direction, and instead listened to what they had to say.

I am sure that when the document is drafted, his fingerprints will be all over it; that is his job. He will collect the information, his staff will assemble, refine and prioritize it. Then he will be the one to champion the plan and present it back to all of the stakeholders in a way that inspires them to believe.

The organization would probably follow him where ever he chose to lead, but by choosing to be humble in creating the vision, everyone can share the joys and challenges of the journey.