I have a special affection for crossing guards, especially those out on busy streets and intersections. Every school morning they are out there making sure kids and other pedestrians safely cross streets. I call them unsung safety heroes.
Now, I have seen crossing guards who yell or chastise unsafe drivers and I appreciate their vigilance. I have also seen cheerful crossing guards who, in addition to keeping their charges safe, also make it a point to give the drivers a cheerful start to their day with a wave and a smile. But what I saw this morning was exceptional.
As I drove SLOWLY through the school zone, the crossing guard--a woman with long, platinum hair, a floppy hat and shades--was greeting the drivers with a smile, her own special flourish as she waved me through as if I were the Queen of England, and a bow. I was really moved by her efforts to share joy through her job and I felt a teeny bit special for having cruised her street. Since I am on this joy-at-work kick, I deem her "joyful employee of the day." So what are you doing today to make those around you feel special?
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Joy
I'm talking a lot about "joy" these days. Funny for an executive coach to spend so much time on joy, but it really is critical to communicating and leading.
Joy is different from happiness. Happiness is a situational emotion that comes and goes based on the life events we face. Joy is that deep-seated satisfaction with ourselves and our lives that lets us know, no matter what the situation, that we are going to be okay.
When I work with leaders on communication, I don't ask them to follow any specific formula to get their messages across. Instead, I ask them to walk with integrity, to care about the messages they are delivering, and to think about the people they are talking to. Each of these cornerstones of effective communication requires and/or creates joy.
Integrity is manifestation of your values; that alignment makes joy possible. The two richest ways to create joy in your own life are to care about people and to care about your actions. When you have alignment and caring, you have joy and you have the basic recipe for great communication.
Joy is different from happiness. Happiness is a situational emotion that comes and goes based on the life events we face. Joy is that deep-seated satisfaction with ourselves and our lives that lets us know, no matter what the situation, that we are going to be okay.
When I work with leaders on communication, I don't ask them to follow any specific formula to get their messages across. Instead, I ask them to walk with integrity, to care about the messages they are delivering, and to think about the people they are talking to. Each of these cornerstones of effective communication requires and/or creates joy.
Integrity is manifestation of your values; that alignment makes joy possible. The two richest ways to create joy in your own life are to care about people and to care about your actions. When you have alignment and caring, you have joy and you have the basic recipe for great communication.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
One Job
Suppose your boss came to you tomorrow morning and told you she would give you a $100 bonus at the end of the day. The ONLY thing you have to do to receive the bonus is to be cheerful all day while doing your job. Could you do it? Would you give it a try?
Could you manage to keep smiling while your co-workers complain? What about your customers' demands for better pricing or more service, could you withstand that? Could you keep your inner glow of joy shining if someone sent an e-mail, copied to 27 people, that questioned your work?
No scowling, no complaining, no negative or sarcastic comments.
So what about home? What if your boss told you she would still give you the bonus if you could make it through a Saturday at home, not working, remaining cheerful all day. Does that make it easier? Or harder? Would you try?
No scowling, no complaining, no negative or sarcastic comments.
Now what if I told you that the rewards you could receive for such a day would be far more valuable than any bonus your boss could give: renewed relationships, improved health, a more positive outlook. Would you be willing to try an entire day of good cheer?
I am going to try and I challenge you to join me. If you haven't seen it yet, here's a bit of cheer that might help you get through the day. It makes me laugh out loud every time I see it.
Could you manage to keep smiling while your co-workers complain? What about your customers' demands for better pricing or more service, could you withstand that? Could you keep your inner glow of joy shining if someone sent an e-mail, copied to 27 people, that questioned your work?
No scowling, no complaining, no negative or sarcastic comments.
So what about home? What if your boss told you she would still give you the bonus if you could make it through a Saturday at home, not working, remaining cheerful all day. Does that make it easier? Or harder? Would you try?
No scowling, no complaining, no negative or sarcastic comments.
Now what if I told you that the rewards you could receive for such a day would be far more valuable than any bonus your boss could give: renewed relationships, improved health, a more positive outlook. Would you be willing to try an entire day of good cheer?
I am going to try and I challenge you to join me. If you haven't seen it yet, here's a bit of cheer that might help you get through the day. It makes me laugh out loud every time I see it.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Then Again, It Really Is All About Me
Yesterday's post applies to interpersonal, verbal communication. When it comes to social media, though, it is "all about me." Facebook, Twitter and blogs are the way folks express themselves and share what is going on. If your audience doesn't want to hear about it, they can simply log off.
I do believe the best company use of social media is all about the user, consumer or reader. That's why savvy companies offer coupons, discounts, or information through their social media.
So glad I got that off my chest so I can go back to blogging about myself!
I do believe the best company use of social media is all about the user, consumer or reader. That's why savvy companies offer coupons, discounts, or information through their social media.
So glad I got that off my chest so I can go back to blogging about myself!
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
It's Not About Me
"It's all about me!" Have you seen this on T-shirts or seen some teeny bopper on TV smugly say it as if it's an anthem? When I see or hear this phrase, it makes me sigh. Here is the only proper use of this phrase: Once you realize you have been droning on about yourself, you say, in embarrassment and as a joke to change the subject, "It's all about me!" Even in that situation, I prefer, "Enough about me, let's talk about something else."
I know it is a hip part of the current lexicon and I am decidedly un-hip. There is an edgy arrogance about the tongue-in-cheek statement of what we want to be true. Like "Girls Rule," or "Heartbreaker." I can appreciate the nose-thumbing at accepted protocol.
But there is a problem with "It's all about me." In our heads, it is usually true, but when we speak, there is (usually) at least one other person around. In communication, it is never about one person. Communication is about communing with another, so if you are saying "It's all about me," (even if you don't mean it) then they are thinking, "what an edgy, selfish prig," or "you're wrong, it's about me," if they are thinking about you at all.
Effective communication is actually about the other. When you wish to connect with another person, the best way to do so is to think about them first. What do they care about? What do they worry about? How is their day going? What matters to them? If you don't know the answers to any of these questions, then a question is a good place to start. "What was the best part of your weekend?" "I saw you were in that meeting this morning, what was your impression of the speaker?" If you are skilled at follow-up, you can get away with yes or no questions by asking what the yes or no answer means.
Talking and sharing is fun, and "It's all about me!" can really be a fun phrase to use in the right way. Just make sure you don't believe it, not for a minute. In communication, it's really all about us.
I know it is a hip part of the current lexicon and I am decidedly un-hip. There is an edgy arrogance about the tongue-in-cheek statement of what we want to be true. Like "Girls Rule," or "Heartbreaker." I can appreciate the nose-thumbing at accepted protocol.
But there is a problem with "It's all about me." In our heads, it is usually true, but when we speak, there is (usually) at least one other person around. In communication, it is never about one person. Communication is about communing with another, so if you are saying "It's all about me," (even if you don't mean it) then they are thinking, "what an edgy, selfish prig," or "you're wrong, it's about me," if they are thinking about you at all.
Effective communication is actually about the other. When you wish to connect with another person, the best way to do so is to think about them first. What do they care about? What do they worry about? How is their day going? What matters to them? If you don't know the answers to any of these questions, then a question is a good place to start. "What was the best part of your weekend?" "I saw you were in that meeting this morning, what was your impression of the speaker?" If you are skilled at follow-up, you can get away with yes or no questions by asking what the yes or no answer means.
Talking and sharing is fun, and "It's all about me!" can really be a fun phrase to use in the right way. Just make sure you don't believe it, not for a minute. In communication, it's really all about us.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
"joie de vivre"
This is Max. He calls himself a curmudgeon. I ask you, does this look like any curmdgeon you know?
Max is a dear friend and has been since I first moved to Arizona more than 14 years ago. Our spouses are friends, too, and our kids love each other. We count their family on the short list of "people we would enjoy being with for a week on a houseboat." (Just a little game my husband and I play in our free time.)
Max, "the curmudgeon," is also an artist. Check out his work at http://www.maxhammond.net/. He mostly creates big, beautiful abstract oil paintings, but through the years I have seen him create magic in campfires, kitchen renovations, computer graphics, and children. Max is the kind of person that can take a small group of perfectly peaceful children and whip them into a frenzy of joyful laughter in two minutes flat with his antics and funny voices.
Before this photo, he simply said, "Back flip off the front." I thought he was kidding. I mean, we are not as, um, young as we once were. But he nailed it, with a twist. When he saw the photo, he said, "It makes me want to go out and jump off again."
Maybe Max is a curmudgeon and maybe he isn't, I don't know. What I do know is that he is a person who lives in the moment enough to grab a rare opportunity to "back flip off the front," create laughing children, or generate strong emotions in people he doesn't know through his art. That, to me, defines "joie de vivre" and inspires me to smile a little. I may not try any flips today, but maybe I will skip a little on my way to my next meeting.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
30 Second Rule
I have found that often I act too quickly. I am quick to jump in to solve any challenge, fix anything broken. While solving all of the problems in the world with my brand of wisdom makes me feel smart, it is not always the best for the other person. In attempting to change my reactionary behavior, I have a new rule. At the point when I want to jump into anything, I wait 30 seconds and then re-evaluate if my help is needed. It does not work for me to simply wait, I must replace action with action, so I count slowly to 30. Most issues resolve themselves in that 30 seconds. If the issue is not resolved, I jump in with a free conscience.
For example, if a colleague or client is late for a meeting, I will call. Often their phones are ringing as they walk in the door. A personal example is my husband's driving. I like to plan my lane changes; he changes when he is ready. Before politely reminding him of the exit, I count to 30. As a coach, I use this rule all of the time. As an objective outsider, sometimes a solution to the client's issue is as plain as day to me. If I tell what I see right away, many times the client cannot believe me because I am not "in the trenches," and often the process of solving the issue is what is more important than the actual answer they seek.
This is my rule, because I find that my pace is often quicker than others'. My make-up--and I like it because it drives my productivity--is high speed. I have often said, "I have two speeds: high and off." For someone who moves at a more even pace or someone with more patience, the 30-second rule would not make sense. Entrepreneurs and corporate movers and shakers are often like me, out to solve any problem that comes up. This is not good for your employees, if you want them to develop their skills and become more independent. Yes, they are going to be slower because they will not have the experience you do. Yes, they may make a mistake and yes, it might have a cost associated with it. But they will learn and they will discover their own abilities and may even have a boost in their self-confidence if they become one of the problem solvers.
There is one caveat, and that is discernment. There are situations where 30 seconds makes a big difference. As a leader, you have to know when the decision matters more than the development of another individual. If equipment will break if you don't stop the line now, or, of course, if someone could get hurt without your immediate involvement, then act right away. Otherwise, give the 30-second rule a try and see what happens. You might be impressed with how others come through.
For example, if a colleague or client is late for a meeting, I will call. Often their phones are ringing as they walk in the door. A personal example is my husband's driving. I like to plan my lane changes; he changes when he is ready. Before politely reminding him of the exit, I count to 30. As a coach, I use this rule all of the time. As an objective outsider, sometimes a solution to the client's issue is as plain as day to me. If I tell what I see right away, many times the client cannot believe me because I am not "in the trenches," and often the process of solving the issue is what is more important than the actual answer they seek.
This is my rule, because I find that my pace is often quicker than others'. My make-up--and I like it because it drives my productivity--is high speed. I have often said, "I have two speeds: high and off." For someone who moves at a more even pace or someone with more patience, the 30-second rule would not make sense. Entrepreneurs and corporate movers and shakers are often like me, out to solve any problem that comes up. This is not good for your employees, if you want them to develop their skills and become more independent. Yes, they are going to be slower because they will not have the experience you do. Yes, they may make a mistake and yes, it might have a cost associated with it. But they will learn and they will discover their own abilities and may even have a boost in their self-confidence if they become one of the problem solvers.
There is one caveat, and that is discernment. There are situations where 30 seconds makes a big difference. As a leader, you have to know when the decision matters more than the development of another individual. If equipment will break if you don't stop the line now, or, of course, if someone could get hurt without your immediate involvement, then act right away. Otherwise, give the 30-second rule a try and see what happens. You might be impressed with how others come through.
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