In the Moment

Many of the most tiresome communication challenges can be solved by "presence." I'm sure you have heard that before. Being in the moment means that you are listening and responding to the person in front of you, not the person you think walked in the room, the person that fits the stereotype, the person they were yesterday, the person HR told you about or even the person you knew when you were a kid. Being in the moment means that you notice what's going on with you: When did your gut tense up? What really made you angry? What do you really want out of this exchange?

But if it is really such a powerful tool that we all know about, why don't we do it all the time? Like anything else, living in the moment takes practice. Yoga and deep breathing are great exercises to help you practice, but finding the time and a quiet place can be difficult in even the most organized life. The best way I have found to practice is to get out in nature.

I like to hike and was fortunate enough to move into a home near the Phoenix Mountain Preserve a few years back. As I head out the door, I am usually deep in some conversation, speech or lament in my mind, but at some point in the hike, I surrender to the desert. If you go to, say, Hawaii, beauty hits you over the head with every tropical flower, waterfall or beach. The desert is much more coy with it's beauty. You have to look up to see the mountain against the impossibly blue sky. You have to pick out that proud saguaro standing in the shadows and you have to pay attention to hear that quail family's panicked conversation as you break up their party. I try to notice as much as I can so that I can still see it in my mind when I need a refresher throughout the day.

Today, the air had a chill, but not quite a bite. The sun guilded, casting the mountains, creosote, cactuses and scrub in a soft light, without blinding. I could see the McDowells, though hazy, to the East, and Tom's Thumb giving the whole day a "thumb's up."