I had no intention of starting with my husband. Up until this morning, I had three business leaders in mind to start my 100 people list with. But sometimes the clouds shift and the way becomes clear.
I often get inspiration for the day from a morning hike on the mountain preserve. This morning, I was able to take that desert walk with my husband, Joe. This is a rare event. Work or children usually prevent us from hiking alone together. As we were hiking and talking it occurred to me that Tagali happened out of my marriage to Joe.
You see, Joe and I met and married in our 30s, which to our families, co-workers, and some friends, seemed really old. I remember hearing too many times a statement that is hopefully more rare today, "Why aren't you married?" So finally, after not finding the right person for years and years, I got very clear about what the right person looked like, made a list, and stopped worrying about it. Not long after that, Joe appeared. Not only did he hit all of the high points of my list, he is a great person and perfect for me.
As we were living happily ever after, it occurred to me that other areas of my life could use the same treatment: most of all, my work. If I did not have to settle for a life partner--if I could have exactly who I wanted--I reasoned, I should not have to settle for my life's work. The seed for Tagali was planted, and my real work began.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Friday, March 18, 2011
10 Years of Gratitude
2001 was a memorable year. I got married that spring. The country was shocked by September 11th. My company was incorporated on September 12th.
Those first few months were slow going. I had one client and started networking. I sub-contracted with another consulting company to learn the ropes. I met some wonderful people and logged some great experience. I added a few clients every year, and ten years later, I'm still here.
The emotion I feel most strongly when I think about these 10 years is gratitude. There are so many people I met and worked with along the way who have inspired me, kicked me in the tush, pushed me, listened to me, encouraged me, mentored me, referred me, and paid me. Without them, I would have given up. Without them, it would not have been half as much fun. I am eternally grateful to all of them for their impact on my work and my life.
There are at least 100 people I have to talk about, and I will name names. It's going to take some time to get through the list, all the way up to the anniversary and beyond. Look for their stories, right here, coming in my very next blog.
Those first few months were slow going. I had one client and started networking. I sub-contracted with another consulting company to learn the ropes. I met some wonderful people and logged some great experience. I added a few clients every year, and ten years later, I'm still here.
The emotion I feel most strongly when I think about these 10 years is gratitude. There are so many people I met and worked with along the way who have inspired me, kicked me in the tush, pushed me, listened to me, encouraged me, mentored me, referred me, and paid me. Without them, I would have given up. Without them, it would not have been half as much fun. I am eternally grateful to all of them for their impact on my work and my life.
There are at least 100 people I have to talk about, and I will name names. It's going to take some time to get through the list, all the way up to the anniversary and beyond. Look for their stories, right here, coming in my very next blog.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Leadership Rules
I picked up the book Leadership Rules, by Chris Widener, for my husband a few weeks ago. It's a business parable with the sub-title "How to Become the Leader You Want to Be." I love business parables because they make abstract concepts easy to process. My long-time favorite is The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, by Patrick Lencioni, but I digress.
So the book takes place in Texas, and has a little to do with football and a lot to do with leadership. The "rules" that Widener espouses mirror the rules we use when work with companies on accountability. They are the "simple" rules of leadership that are so difficult to live by. Here they are, directly from Widener's book:
1. You get what you expect.
2. You get what you model.
3. You get what you reward.
4. You get what you work for.
In other words, clearly understand and communicate your expectations (and while you are at it, you may as well set them high), walk the talk, offer rewards for meeting those high expectations, and finally, keep at it for as long as it takes.
So the book takes place in Texas, and has a little to do with football and a lot to do with leadership. The "rules" that Widener espouses mirror the rules we use when work with companies on accountability. They are the "simple" rules of leadership that are so difficult to live by. Here they are, directly from Widener's book:
1. You get what you expect.
2. You get what you model.
3. You get what you reward.
4. You get what you work for.
In other words, clearly understand and communicate your expectations (and while you are at it, you may as well set them high), walk the talk, offer rewards for meeting those high expectations, and finally, keep at it for as long as it takes.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Stretch, Breathe, Stretch
I started yoga again this morning and it was great! It's been a several years and a couple of kids ago since I went to a real yoga class. My mind is refreshed, my breathing has been reset and my muscles are still shaking. My awesome instructor, Geraldine, says that it's good when your muscles shake. They are telling you, "Thank you for stretching me!" A prayer I should offer every day.
Friday, March 4, 2011
The Secret to Balanced Living
Okay, so there's no secret. Just like we all know the "secret" to weight loss is to eat healthy foods and get moving, the "secret" to balance is making balance your priority. Oh, we look for all of the short cuts and buy the books and worry and wish, but balance requires the commitment to be balanced. Here's what I do:
1. I have an understanding of what balance means to me. It's different for everyone. Do you need a run every day to keep your sanity? Do your kids know what you look like? Does a worship service give you peace all week? Is your work-life in a critical phase? I write it all down and give it priority. Some of the choices are hard, but I know what's important to me right now.
Even though I want it all, I have given up business travel and the lucrative business it can provide because I choose to be in Phoenix. It is important to my life balance to be here for my family. I try to take the long view and remember that I can travel later if I choose; this phase of my life will not last forever.
2. Say "no." You can have the life you want, but you have to communicate it to others. People will ask me to do things that are not in line with my priorities.However, I have found that people are very respectful if I am clear about what I can do and what I will not do. That requires me to be clear in my head about what matters to me (see Step 1).
When my kids were really little, it was important that they spent more time with me than anyone else. I let them attend preschool three days a week, which gave me only three days per week to schedule meetings. I simply let people know when I was available and when I was not without any long-winded explanations. For special situations I could always find a sitter, but it was rare that I needed to.
3. Get creative. Thank goodness my children are now old enough to hike with me. Exercise and quality time all in one! Sometimes I set up a desk for my daughter in my office so we can go to work together. I do my work and she "works" on her alphabet. I also work evenings or weekends if I need to tend to other commitments through the week. The main thing is that I try to manage everyone's expectations about what I can do and what I cannot. I set realistic deadlines with my clients that I know I can meet or beat (see Step 2) and I let my family know if I need extra time for a project or meeting.
A colleague told me the other day that I am the most balanced person he knows. Once I sat in a meeting of women business leaders and heard someone say that balance was impossible. That steeled my resolve to lead a balanced life. It is possible, but it defies one pat definition. Balance is important to me so I make it work. That's the real secret.
1. I have an understanding of what balance means to me. It's different for everyone. Do you need a run every day to keep your sanity? Do your kids know what you look like? Does a worship service give you peace all week? Is your work-life in a critical phase? I write it all down and give it priority. Some of the choices are hard, but I know what's important to me right now.
Even though I want it all, I have given up business travel and the lucrative business it can provide because I choose to be in Phoenix. It is important to my life balance to be here for my family. I try to take the long view and remember that I can travel later if I choose; this phase of my life will not last forever.
2. Say "no." You can have the life you want, but you have to communicate it to others. People will ask me to do things that are not in line with my priorities.However, I have found that people are very respectful if I am clear about what I can do and what I will not do. That requires me to be clear in my head about what matters to me (see Step 1).
When my kids were really little, it was important that they spent more time with me than anyone else. I let them attend preschool three days a week, which gave me only three days per week to schedule meetings. I simply let people know when I was available and when I was not without any long-winded explanations. For special situations I could always find a sitter, but it was rare that I needed to.
3. Get creative. Thank goodness my children are now old enough to hike with me. Exercise and quality time all in one! Sometimes I set up a desk for my daughter in my office so we can go to work together. I do my work and she "works" on her alphabet. I also work evenings or weekends if I need to tend to other commitments through the week. The main thing is that I try to manage everyone's expectations about what I can do and what I cannot. I set realistic deadlines with my clients that I know I can meet or beat (see Step 2) and I let my family know if I need extra time for a project or meeting.
A colleague told me the other day that I am the most balanced person he knows. Once I sat in a meeting of women business leaders and heard someone say that balance was impossible. That steeled my resolve to lead a balanced life. It is possible, but it defies one pat definition. Balance is important to me so I make it work. That's the real secret.
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