The Secret to Balanced Living

Okay, so there's no secret. Just like we all know the "secret" to weight loss is to eat healthy foods and get moving, the "secret" to balance is making balance your priority. Oh, we look for all of the short cuts and buy the books and worry and wish, but balance requires the commitment to be balanced. Here's what I do:

1. I have an understanding of what balance means to me. It's different for everyone. Do you need a run every day to keep your sanity? Do your kids know what you look like? Does a worship service give you peace all week? Is your work-life in a critical phase? I write it all down and give it priority. Some of the choices are hard, but I know what's important to me right now.

Even though I want it all, I have given up business travel and the lucrative business it can provide because I choose to be in Phoenix. It is important to my life balance to be here for my family. I try to take the long view and remember that I can travel later if I choose; this phase of my life will not last forever.

2. Say "no." You can have the life you want, but you have to communicate it to others. People will ask me to do things that are not in line with my priorities.However, I have found that people are very respectful if I am clear about what I can do and what I will not do. That requires me to be clear in my head about what matters to me (see Step 1).

When my kids were really little, it was important that they spent more time with me than anyone else. I let them attend preschool three days a week, which gave me only three days per week to schedule meetings. I simply let people know when I was available and when I was not without any long-winded explanations. For special situations I could always find a sitter, but it was rare that I needed to.

3. Get creative. Thank goodness my children are now old enough to hike with me. Exercise and quality time all in one! Sometimes I set up a desk for my daughter in my office so we can go to work together. I do my work and she "works" on her alphabet. I also work evenings or weekends if I need to tend to other commitments through the week. The main thing is that I try to manage everyone's expectations about what I can do and what I cannot. I set realistic deadlines with my clients that I know I can meet or beat (see Step 2) and I let my family know if I need extra time for a project or meeting.

A colleague told me the other day that I am the most balanced person he knows. Once I sat in a meeting of women business leaders and heard someone say that balance was impossible. That steeled my resolve to lead a balanced life. It is possible, but it defies one pat definition. Balance is important to me so I make it work. That's the real secret.